Melanie Wilhelm Dunaway is a third generation of the Wilhelm family to serve in the funeral business and created Advent based on a simple philosophy – It’s about your needs. Not ours.
“Once in a while amazing people come into our lives, and we are lucky if we realize it while they are still living.”
Thuy Thornlow passed away peacefully in her home on Tuesday, January 17, 2012, in Springfield, Virginia. She is survived by her husband Bruce, and two daughters Kim-Ann and Alexis.
Thuy Thi Nguyen was born on September 1, 1947 in Thai Binh, Vietnam. In 1954 she and her family fled the Communists from her home in the North to the safety of South Vietnam. During the years of 1965 – 1975 Thuy worked for the US Military in various capacities. In 1967 her 2nd job was with the 34th Engineer Battalion serving as Secretary to the Chaplain, where she met Bruce Thornlow, the Chaplain’s Assistant. They fell in love and became engaged. The engagement lasted nine years even while Bruce’s US Military Service obligation ended and he returned to the States to pursue a college degree.
From 1974 – 1975 Thuy entered the University of Saigon, School of Law. Her studies were interrupted when Saigon fell to the Communists. In April of 1975, as Saigon was falling into the hands of the Communists, Thuy escaped with the help of the Americans she worked for, taking her Mother, younger sister, her older sister Kim and her 8 children, and another family of 4 – a total of 16 people in all.
Thuy married Bruce in 1977 and they moved to Massachusetts together. There they had two children, Kim-Ann in 1978, and Alexis in 1981. From 1978 to 2012, Thuy worked for the Department of Health and Human Services for the states of Massachusetts, West Virginia, and Virginia.
While raising two children and working full time, Thuy also received her Bachelor’s Degree from West Virginia State College in 2000.
Thuy’s life would seem too short to many, but those who were touched by her understood that the quality of existence far exceeds the quantity of time in which one lives. She will be missed terribly by everyone who knew her.
Visitation will be held Friday, January 20 from 5-9pm at Advent Funeral Home, 7211 Lee Highway, Falls Church, VA. A traditional Buddhist ceremony will be held at Advent Funeral Home on Saturday, January 21 from 9-11am. Both services are open to everyone who would like to pay their respects.
In lieu of flowers the Thornlow family requests donations be made in memory of Thuy Thornlow to:
Capital Caring
Philanthropy Department
2900 Telestar Court
Falls Church, VA 22315
Memorial donations may also be made online at: www.capitalcaring.org/donate
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Thuy was sunshine to all that knew her. I was blessed to know her and feel such pain for her loss. My thoughts and prayers to the family. Kim is like a daughter to me. What a wonderful and caring family. She will be so missed. Will never forget her kindness.
Marita Willoughby
To Bruce, Kim-Ann, Alexis and extended family,
Thank you for sharing your gift of Thuy with me and the world. The world is richer because of her. Thuy and I shared a love of life and a love of orchids. We were like two giddy children when we shared our experiences with orchids. When I look at the beauty of orchids, I will always think of Thuy. I know she will be with me and all of us always.
Peace and blessings,
Carolyn Woods
Dear Bruce and girls:
This was such a shock to hear. Thuy was such a great co-worker and friend. I miss the Chinese New Year luncheons I shared with her and Tran and my friend Carol @ Eden Center, even meeting you (Bruce) there one year. The light has gone out on a rare individual, but her legecy of kindness and friendship will be left for us you loved her.
The loss of Thuy is greatly felt by all who knew her. Thuy’s kindness and concern for others will live on in our hearts. Although I only interacted with her a few times, her loving personality and inspiring persona was evident. Her beautiful character was strongly felt by all through her loving husband, Bruce. You could see the love and her influence through his eyes.
Bruce, I am sad to learn of your greatest loss. I have your beautiful bride (Thuy), you, and your family in my prayers. I can honestly say that I know what you are going through. I have graduated from the school of losing a loving spouse and partner. First there is the initial shock and disbelief. Then there are the countless tears, the void in our hearts, and emptiness in our lives. The numbness and deep sadness then follows. However, in between these dark and lonely times are moments of happiness. The clouds dissipate and the sun shines through. We have brief flashes of some good times and/or funny situations. These blimps of happiness continue and become stronger. These joyous moments soon begin to happen more and more, burning into our minds longer and longer. After a while, the good and happy times out weight the emotions surrounding our loss. We become stronger. We learn to live life fully again.
I am here and will help you get through this. Please stay strong.
A great big hug to you……Your friend, Donna Powers
To: The Thornlow Family:
To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted. Ecces. 3:1-2.
I am truly blessed to have known Thuy and enjoyed our many talks together. She is truly one special individual who touched the lives of those who she met tremendously. I will miss her laughter and zest for a “healthy” life, her smile and her leadership in keeping us walking to remain fit. Bruce, we met once, and from that meeting, I knew you were special because she was special.
May God continuously bless you and the family,
Mary Savoy-Baucum
Thornlow Family,
Thuy was a brilliant lady of love and compassion for all that she interacted with her. She would devote her time to make others feel welcomed and cared for. For this we know first hand. She will always be a part of our life for those reasons. With the thoughts of Thuy and her beloved family it brings us to sad disappointment that she left us all too soon. We shall pray and rejoice in her kindness.
Thanks Thuy for all that you shared.
Dear Bruce, Alexis, Kim-Ann, and Thuy’s extended family,
Ahmed and I was shock to learn the news on Tuesday! I just talked to her on Monday. Her kindness and stories will be missed and remembered! Our thoughts and prayers to the family. Bruce, please stay strong. — Thu-Mai & Ahmed.
I saw Thuy many times over the years at DHS. She was a friendly and wonderful presence – always cordial and glad to see you – a true ray of sunshine.
We will all miss her greatly – but have no doubt that she is now in the proverbial better place.
Bruce – After hearing of your wife’s transitioning, my heart and prayers immediately went out to you. Always know that God is in control and that there will be brighter days ahead. May you find peace in knowing that one of these days, you will be reunited.
Peace and Blessing,
Bruce A. Lewis, NDU
Dear Bruce, Kim-Ann and Alexis,
I am so upset that my dear friend Thuy left us so soon. My deepest condolences are felt for you today and always.
Words cannot express the emptiness that I feel in my heart for my aunt&sister. She taught me so much about life-good and bad. She was such a wonderful role model for my family and I.
I will never forget the story when Thuy obtained an orchid from Vietnam. It had appeared that the orchid was dead. Thuy stated ,”we brought the orchid back from death to life”. She said it with such compassion and love. She always trusted me to share all her challenges and happy times about family and work.
I first met Thuy, Bruce, Kim-Ann and Alexis over 20 years ago when we worked together in Massachusetts. Once a friend always a friend of Thuy. I echo the the comments of her friends made here. I’m speechless because I don’t know where to begin to mention her many wonderful qualities and her loyalty. She was just too uniques. She will never leave my thoughts and prayers. My love to Bruce. their daughters and to all of Thuy’s family.
Bruce, Kim-Ann, Alexis and extended family,
Thuy was such a lovely, caring person with a beautiful smile. She will be missed. Our thoughts and prayers go out to all of you.
Dick & Carolyn Turner
With Buddhism, the passage into death is not one to be feared, but one that signals the completion of one phase of life so that another can begin. Even with this belief, our family still struggled with the question “why Thuy”, and our hearts are overflowing with unbearable pain and sadness as we try to cope with the passing of our beloved Thuy.
What we admire most about Thuy are those traits we will miss the most about her. All of us who knew her will understand this. She was kind, protective, thoughtful, patient, compassionate, understanding and very funny. She was a natural caregiver, always put others before herself. She brought our family and her friend’s family to the US so we could have a better life. Thuy knew that we owed her the freedom and the good lives that we all enjoyed today, but she was happy to accept our gratitude for this indebtedness. She just wanted us to take care of ourselves and one another; be happy, productive and useful to society.
Thuy enjoyed travelling to Orange County, California once a year to visit our family and grandma’s grave site, but most important to her were her true friends and family. Beside the love and devotion for her husband and 2 daughters, Thuy was a wonderful daughter to her mother when grandma was still living, great sister and loving aunt to our family for just by being herself and sharing herself with all of us.
Words seem to fail in capturing Thuy’s spirit. We should all honor her by carrying on her wonderful smile, amazing patience, compassion for all and great sense of humor. Thuy will be sorely missed by all and she will always be in our hearts!
Bruce, Kim-Ann and Alexis, we share your pain of loosing Thuy, your dearest wife and mother. We know that parts of you may never accept it, but you always find a way to cope with it the best you can. We’re not saying it’s easy, because it’s not. In fact, it may end up being the toughest thing you’ll ever endure. But be strong, we pray for you and we’ll get through this together.
Love,
The Nguyen Family
“And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years” ~ Abraham Lincoln
Keep the faith family and friends that we shall all meet once again. I am blessed to know Thuy. Thuy’s depth of knowledge, wisdom, and ability to share with us in a caring and nurturing way is a wonderful lesson for us all. Thank you for the Nettle drops Thuy. Until we meet again.
I met Bruce and Thuy by accident, but what a great encounter it turned out to be! You see, in Virginia, traffic is so bad that strangers carpool in order to use carpool (HOV) lanes. Drivers pick up passengers who anxiously wait by curbsides for a ride. These passengers are fondly referred to as “slugs”
http://slug-lines.com/Slugging/About_slugging.asp
It started out as on ordinary slug ride home, but halfway through, Bruce and Thuy’s old Honda broke down on the highway. This bad situation gave us an opportunity to learn more about each other, and we quickly became friends. It’s has been a friendship I’ve enjoyed for a couple of years. I introduced Bruce and Thuy to my friends, and, as a small group, we enjoyed parties, international fiestas, dinners, and many good times together. These events were always fun for all.
There are a couple of things that come to mind when I think of Thuy. The first is when only five of us were together at my house. Thuy opened up, and I learned so much about her past that I was in awe of her life. She began talking about her time in Vietnam, her pursuit of a law degree, her work with the military, when she met Bruce, her near encounters with the Communists, and the escape from her homeland, taking 16 people with her! I saw another side of Thuy that I had no idea of. I was amazed and motivated by her strength, courage, and mostly by her determination. She continued to help family and friends with her law background, and even managed to win court cases, sometimes, beating out her professor in the courtroom! Even though I know she regretted the fact that she could not finish her law degree, she used her skills to help others, especially those who needed it most. Her strong convictions made her fight for what she believed in, and as such, she continued to touch the lives of many people, some of which who never really knew who was feverishly working behind the scenes, like the elderly in nursing homes. As with everything in her life, she persevered the obstacles to make a better life for someone. Thuy did what she thought was best, best for herself (as in how she chose to deal with cancer), and she did what she thought was best for others. She continued her education, as recently as a decade ago, while working full time, and she went out of her way to help others. I recall how she made a special trip to deliver natural nettle drops to Angel who had been to the doctor’s three times in order to deal with his allergies. The nettles were the only thing that really helped him get better. Thuy knew best!
Nothing that Thuy set her mind to was impossible, and she made the best of all her circumstances. She is truly an inspiration to all of us, and when we think of how she touched our lives, Thuy can continue to live through US, if we positively touch the lives of others. Let us continue Thuy’s legacy and make our lives and our world a better place, as she did.
Dear Bruce and Family,
I’ve known you and your family for a while, but I can feel the sadness that you feel now.
let your wife peace in heaven, do not be so long to cry in sadness
Peace and blessings
Gioveny
For those of you who were with the 34th Engr Battalion during 1966-68, Miss Thuy worked as Chaplain Edwin R. Rowan’s (Jack) secretary. The following obituary tells you about her voyage to American and what has happened in the last 43 years. She was truly a remarkable woman. Bruce and Thuy visited Bryan and I last summer at our home in Georgia. It was the first time Thuy and Bryan had seen one another since he interviewed her for a job in the personnel shop at the Bien Hoa AFB, but Thuy ended up working for the Chaplain instead. She and Bruce spent two days with us and we had such a good time talking about things that happened then. And I told her a lot of stories about Bryan and what a rascal he was. She sat in my den floor and made origami birds for us and our grandchildren. She was such a precious lady. Little did we know that she was already suffering from cancer. Bruce & Thuy had visited Jack and his wife Priscilla in South Carolina before coming to our house. A year ago, we had located them when we were visiting Jack and Pris before the Charleston 34th Engr reunion and had talked on the phone forever.
When they returned home from their visit, Thuy was in pain and went to the doctor. Bruce called us the first of December and told us that she was in stage four at the time. We received the attached email from Bruce today. Please join us in extending our sympathies and love to Bruce and her children. Love you all, Dee
At this moment in time, there’s nothing we can say that will make the pain go away. We can only hold tight to the memories we shared of her for comfort. I just lost my dad a couple of months ago, so I know how and what you’re feeling right now.
Lots of hugs and prayers for you and your family. I know Donn had came to visit you guys when we first heard the news of her illness. We had made plans to come visit. We just wished that we had been able to make the trip as a whole family before her passing.
In your time of need, we hope you know we will always be there for you and your family. Please don’t hesitate to call us…anytime.
With all our love,
Donn, Susan, Everest, Sierra and Trey
One of my many fond memories of Thuy was her ability to take any negative situation and turn it into a positive one. For example, while working as a Case Management Worker for the Welfare Department in West Virginia, two clients showed up at the last minute just before closing, a Mr. Wright, and a Mr. Good. Some people threw up their hands and complained about having to work past the time that they were just about to leave for home. But Thuy stood up and said to them, “How many opportunities come our way where we have a choice of meeting both a ‘Mr. Right’ and a ‘Mr. Good’ at the same time. I’m grabbing one right now.” Everyone laughed, and so another worker went out cheerfully to help process the applications. That was Thuy Thornlow’s legacy throughout her working career. Her coworkers loved her, if not for her cheery disposition, then for the spontaneity of her responses
to her clients. She always treated both her clients and her coworkers with respect and dignity, and saying the right things that seem to quell any anxiety they might have had. She gave comforting advice to those who asked for it, and in many cases, her words changed people’s lives pointing out their options for making the right decisions for themselves…but never taking credit. One time, a coworker asked her…”are you ‘Enlightened’”? to which Thuy answered immediately. “No, but I’m an ‘Enlightened Wanna-Be”. The years we’ve been together I’ve always known her to be a very warm,
caring, and trusting person, always putting others first before herself. She was a light unto herself and fiercely independent. She lived on her own terms, and died on her own terms. Her memory will live on within each of us who knew her. I will miss her dearly.
I want to express my condolences to the Thornlow family. I just heard about Thuy’s fight and loss to cancer. It is a heartwrenching road to travel for those who are left behind. I have lost several family members to cancer, so please accept my heartfelt condolences. Comfort each other in this time of enormous loss…God Bless You…
I just wanted to once again say how sorry I am over Thuy’s passing. I read all the entries in her obituary and was moved by what you had to say about her telling someone that she was an enlightened want-to-be. I think she was enlightened definitely! I will miss her smile, humor and goodwill that she had such an abundance of, and never hesitated to share among those she met. I had so many wonderful conversations with her and was looking forward to so many more. Im proud that one of my photos is on this memorial and will always remember the wonderful time we all had when that was taken. With Sympathy and Love, Fabi, John, Melanie and Jack